Networking without feeling pushy - any advice?

I want to talk to people in a new field but I hate cold messages. I would rather hear the honest version than the polite one. Some people reply with short answers. How do you phrase the request?

Follow up with a thank-you and a short update. One of my chats led to a referral a month later.

I asked what they wish they had known at my stage. People enjoy answering that.